Keepin' It Real

I am still finding my way in this Blogging World. It's an interesting one because the Blogger is completely in control of what they post and the angle they spin. I have to admit, it is tempting to portray myself/family a certain way- but that way wouldn't be reality. Besides, my family wouldn't believe any of it, and then I'd lose 70% of my readers. :)

I realized that because I don't post everyday, I usually write about the bigger or sometimes more exciting happenings in life. Because of this, my life is shown from one side (although not intended). So, before we go much farther and certain assumptions are made about me, I thought I'd share a story that happened this past week.

I received a call from someone at a Christian publishing company that was given our families' name to be part of an advisory team for an upcoming product. Basically, our family (along with many others- don't be impressed ;)) will be testing out a daily reading Bible that is written specifically for families. We will be looking at it for user friendliness, age appropriateness, design, etc. Our family dynamics apparently fit the profile they were looking for.

We wanted to get back into a habit of family devotion times, so this sounded like a great way to do it. I began to have visions of my kids sitting calmly around the dinner table with their hands folded in their laps, listening intently and waiting respectfully of their siblings for their chance to speak. Thank you very much. Read on.

Just after my phone conversation with this woman of a prominent Christian company began, I could hear the rumblings of a kerfuffle between two of my children. So as I'm listening, note taking and question asking, I'm pondering if I should get off the phone, handle the "potential situation" and call her back. ( Have you been there?) But no, we have trained our children right, so I decide to continue the call, hoping that the infraction would sizzle out. Um, yeah right.

We live in a ranch home and I am at one end of the house and the two warriors are at the other. I can hear the "dialogue" getting a bit louder. I peek my head into the hallway and feeling like the guy on the airplane runway, I am signalling for the older one to retreat by my finger pointing and giving the universal "mom" eyes. No such luck. Again, I should have ended the call, but noo- I was determined to finish.

So, what do mom's do at this stage? You got it, we go into the bathroom and lock the door. Perfect. Except that the screaming of Miss Drama started. As I am continuing to converse, I am praying that my children will not find me. I'm also trying to judge if the woman on the other end has heard any of this.

Apparently my children have used their radar because the crying/screaming sounds are getting louder and I can tell they have isolated my location. I have very few options left at this moment. I'm guessing that turning on the shower would sound a bit odd to the woman on the line, so I rule that out. Visions of Chad finding me turned into an icicle as I am stuck hanging out the window cause me to rule that option out too. I opt for turning on the fan to drown out the noise.

Soon just outside the door you could hear yelling, crying and "mommyyyyyyyy!!!!!" Miss Drama has made herself known by her banging on the door and crying to me about her trauma. Next we have the Negotiator who is trying to explain away his actions- and of course by yelling them over the sound of the fan. Nice.

I realized it was time to surrender because there was just no saving face now. I said to this kind woman, "Well, as you can hear, we're far from a perfect family. So, if we sound like what you're looking for, than we might be able to help you out!" She started laughing and said we would fit perfectly! Gracious, gracious woman.

I'm wondering if we can start that Bible reading with I John 3 for a little "Let's not merely say we love each other, let us show the truth by our actions.." And maybe I need a good dose of Proverbs 16 "Pride goes before a call... er fall." So, my friend, if you don't mind, on this blog I'll be Keepin' it Real. And when you see that title in future posts, you'll know what to expect, and hopefully get a chuckle or two.