Saying goodbye

Well, this is my last post in Thailand. I am so excited to be with my family again, but it is hard to leave these beautiful girls behind. I look forward to sharing some of their stories with you in the coming weeks. You will be amazed at what God has done! My heart is broken for the silent cries of women and children who have yet to be rescued by our Redeemer.

I wanted to share one funny story from the other day. We were out at night on the streets of Bangkok, and I was minding my own business walking along, when I felt something large looming over me. I turned around and there was an elephant close enough to bump my behind with his trunk!!

Thank you again for all your prayers and encouragement.

His eyes

Oh how I wish you could all have experienced the banquet! There were 130 Thai women who came. It was set up like a wedding reception- such fun! We had two Americans per table to be the hostesses. I had a blast that night, but was also a crying mess! It is just so amazing to see God's redeeming Love in their sweet faces. The evening was complete with worship, games, beautiful decorations- even ice sculptures! We also enjoyed interesting food- a piglet (the WHOLE thing). We ate the top layer of his skin- that was quite a challenge for me! I had shark fin soup too- not bad!

As the banquet opened with a prayer, I asked God to give me His eyes that night. Immediately this is the visual picture that God gave me, and I will never forget it:

There was a brilliant glowing light that seemed to pierce every crevice of darkness. I felt extreme peace and an overwhelming sense of joy. Then, each woman at my table came into view. Each one was clothed in an exquisite wedding gown, uniquely made for them. Their faces were glowing from the reflection of the brilliant Light in the room.

This all happened within seconds, and when I opened my eyes, I began to cry as I looked at each girl and could still see them clothed in their wedding gowns, made righteous and pure before God, through the blood of Jesus.

Friends, I know I am only able to give small tidbits of my trip- it's just that I am limited with time to post (and it also costs to be on the computer), so I am sorry that I can't share more- but don'r woryy you'll probably get sick of my ramblings in the coming weeks!! Thanks for your continued prayers- and I can't wait to tell you more!

Light in the Darkness

I am so so so blessed by all of your prayers and verses. I read through everything and read the scriptures out loud with my roommate (she also went on the Russian Outreach). Thank you so sending me off so fully protected with the word of God. Your verses were so perfect. And your prayers felt in a way I have never experienced.

The whole evening was just wrapped in light and peace amongst such darkness and chaos. I do not have time to write more, but just wanted to say that God worked through your prayers. You all are just as much a part of this trip as I am being here. Pray with me as I continue to process through all I've experienced. Pray that God would continue to break my heart.

Also, pray pray pray for the banquet on Thursday night.

P.S. I'll be updating the other blog today too.

God's Hand

A few months back, I heard about the Russian Outreach. They thought it would be great if I went because I had lived in Russia. Well, it ended up that all of the 30 women wanted to go on the outreaches, so they were in a dilemma as to how to choose people. They decided to draw names out of a hat and let God do the choosing. So

When I heard that they had drawn names out, I figured they had excluded me from that because they had told me I was going. I thought since they had already told me they had wanted me to go, that they just left my name on the list and picked out the others. That was not the case. They put every one's name in the hat, and then started first with the Russian outreach, picking out the 3 women to go. They said that when they reached into the bowl, pulled out the name and read it, they couldn't believe it. They started laughing in amazement at God.

There was my name.

As I struggle with some fear and doubt as to why I should be one of the few to go on this, I am at peace that God's Hand was completely in it.

I cannot emphasize enough how much I need your prayers for the outreach. I woke up today with a cold, and I am tired. I need you to pray for my health.

Pray for my eyes. Pray that I would see like never before through the eyes of Jesus. Pray that His love would pour out of them and communicate what words may not be able to.

Pray for protection. Pray against fear. Pray that God would guard my heart. Pray for protection of my mind. Pray that Satan would not have any foothold by feeding me lies or targeting me in my weak places. I can already feel the battle in my mind, and my physical body. His desire is that I would be distracted, and I am constantly battling by claiming scripture.

I am sorry if some of this is jumbled- I have to post quickly, and my mind is still jet lagged.

I need you guys. I know many of you don't like to leave comments, but I would really appreciate it if you'd comment and let me know you're praying. If you have a scripture reference, leave that too. I'll write them down and look them up before I go. I'll check back in tomorrow afternoon or evening before I leave for the Outreach. THANK YOU ALL. I could not do this trip without you.

A heart that is bursting

How do I even begin to express what my heart experienced today? Even as I type this, I am trying to contain my emotions. Words are so limited. Today, I saw such beauty. Such beauty when God takes a life full of pain, despair, emptiness, and sin, and washes it clean with his blood, fills it with His love, and makes it overflow with joy, peace and forgiveness.

Today we went to one of the Safe Houses.

Oh friends, how I wish you could have been there with me. We worshipped in song with these women, prayed in small groups together, loved them, and heard their testimonies. These are precious women with unbelievable darkness and pain in their pasts. But, for the ones who have found Jesus- they were beaming with His joy and desire to go back to their villages and share Christ's love with others. What Satan intended for evil- God took it and is using it for good.

Pray for these women. Many of them have yet to fully surrender to Christ. All of them have pain filled pasts that the evil one desires to use against them.

Was it you?

At around 3-4 am Sat. morning, I was laying in bed and suddenly felt extremely nauseous. I felt like I was going to need a bowl. I started praying, and asked God to prompt people to pray for me. I kept praying and about an hour later, I was completely fine!! So, if you prayed for me around that time, please let me know, and THANK YOU!! (That would be 3-4 pm Friday- Mi. time- sorry- can't help you out if you're in another state :) )

We made it!!!

What a journey! Flight #1: 1 hour 40min. Flight #2: 12 hours 30 min. Flight#3: 8 hours 30 minutes. Whew!! (Can I give a little "shout out" to my sweet Emma who gave up her ipod so her mom could have it for the plane!!)

What fun it has been to meet up with team mates along each leg of the journey. I am enjoying making new friends. Thirty three women available to be used, and ready to love. Wow. I can't wait to see what God will do.

Pray that our bodies would adjust to the time change. (For those in Mi- we are 12 hours ahead).

What a joy it was it was being sent off with so many notes and words of encouragement- it was almost as if I was propelled here by your prayers!! Keep praying- I can feel it! Thank you to two new "bloggy" friends who commented on my last post.

I will try to post as often as I can- but at least every other day. I have a cool story about the upcoming Russian outreach that I want to share.

Love to you all- especially my family. And a "Happy Valentine's Day" to my valentine (loved the card:) )

Thailand team blog

Wow! Three posts in one day. Sorry, but there is just so much to say!! And just in case you're up for more, I have created a blog that is for our team to share their experiences. The idea is that each day, a different woman from our group will be able to share from her perspective. You can find that blog by going here: http://www.thru-the-eyes.blogspot.com/ . I will still continue to post throughout the trip on this blog.

Full circle

Step back with me three years ago when we realized, due to my health issues, that God was directing us back to the States and we would be unable to return to Russia and ultimately Ukraine. At that time, our whole world turned upside down, and it was hard for me personally to not feel like I had failed. I know it was nothing I could control, but somehow I still felt responsible. Our ministry, language acquisition, dreams...where they all a loss? Had we misunderstood God's call on our lives? These were questions that we had to wrestle with. These are the questions that we have since worked through, and feel confident that God is sovereign and that our return to the US is part of His plan. But there are still times when those questions still rear their ugly heads.

While driving in the car today, I was thanking God for this opportunity to go on this trip. There were days with my illness that we didn't know what would happen to my body. It was never life threatening, but the quality of my life had changed drastically. To think that I don't give driving or walking a second thought anymore- God has brought me so so far.

When I turned my fear of "what could happen to my health- would I go back to what I was" over to God, surrendered and applied for this trip, I was thrilled to be going to Thailand and meeting the Thai women. But God had a little surprise for me that touched the deepest place in my heart. The place where those ugly questions sometimes linger.

There is an area in Bangkok where Russian women are trafficked in by the mafia. Yes, Russian women. I was approached about going on Outreach to this area while on the trip because of my experience of living in Russia. So, the Lord has made it possible for me to go on outreach with 2 other women from my team, and a local missionary to this "hotel". I don't know quite what to expect, but I have been told it will be spiritually very, very dark. I can hardly contain what I feel in my heart about this. Hear me right please...this trip is not at all about me, but it is like God in all His graciousness is healing another little spot in my heart. When you open your heart and surrender to God, He always does more than we can ever imagine. More than we deserve.

I am going to Thailand, and during that experience may be able to bring hope to Russian women. Russian women that I would never have had the chance to meet had I been living in Russia today. Please pray for these women. I don't know how much I'll get to talk with them, but maybe just a few exchanged words, and the fact that I can speak (well, I'm praying for intervention here friends!) their language, it will just break down a wall and soften a place for Jesus to come in. Can you even imagine? I know He already has.

This outreach will take place from 11-2am on Tuesday night for me- which I think is Monday for the States. Would you please pray especially for the outreach teams that night? (which will be day for you!) Thank you.

My schedule in Thailand

Below is my basic itinerary for Thailand:

Saturday, Feb 14- 12:30 AM- arrive in Bangkok
- sleep, orientation & getting settled, worship/session/prayer, Thai dinner

Sunday, Feb 15
-church service at International church (I get to work with the 2's & 3's !!!), prayer, preparation, training session for do's/don'ts at Safe Houses. Early to bed!

Monday, Feb. 16
-At one of the Safe Houses. We will "tour" the jewelry/card making, worship and interact with the women. Then a little shopping and a dinner cruise tour of Bangkok!

Tuesday, Feb 17
-At another of the Safe Houses. Tour, worship, hear testimonies, share a meal with the women.
At 8pm the first outreach team of 5 ladies, plus missionaries is sent out. Rest of the team has a prayer meeting.
At 10pm, the second outreach team of 3 ladies, plus missionaries goes out. I am one of the 3, and this is the outreach to the Russian "hotel" We will return around 2am.

Wednesday, Feb 18
-Preparing for the banquet we are hosting for the women living in the safe houses- 200 women!!! Also worship, prayer meeting, debriefing, and some time to shop at the Night Market.

Thursday, Feb 19
-Tour of Rose Garden, more preparation for the banquet, hosting the banquet (the theme for this is the Bride of Christ), prayer, debriefing

Friday, Feb 20
-Three presentations by women who run Safe Houses in other countries, visit to Buddhist temple, worship, debrief

Saturday, Feb 21
-Pack up, shopping at the weekend Bazaar

Sunday, Feb 22
-Leave at 3 am for airport! Arrive in GR around 4:15 that same day- wow what a quick flight :)

Thailand Trip FAQ's Pt 2

1. How many people are going on this trip?

There are 30 other women who I will be experiencing this trip with. They are from all over the US and even one from Canada!


2. Do you know any of the women that are going on the trip?

No. I have interacted with some of the staff that are going, but don't know any of the others. We did have an all day training event where I was able to meet half of the team.


3. Is this trip through your church?

No. This trip is through Women At Risk, Int. (WAR, Int'l). It was open for anyone to apply. They are a growing organization in Grand Rapids, Mi. Another trip like this will take place next year- so maybe one of you will be going on that one??!!!

***I am humbled that I will be going on the Russian outreach during this trip. I will be posting more details about that this week, and friends I will need your prayers especially for that night.

February 1, 2004

Dear Little One,

Five years ago today you heard your first lullabies. Not here on earth, but in Heaven. Although we never met you, and only knew about you for a few months, you have a forever place in our family and in our hearts. We long for the day when we can hold you and your younger sibling.

When you went Home to meet Jesus, we met Him in a "new" way too. We learned of His love, comfort, tenderness, and peace in a deeper way than we ever had. He met us in the darkest place of pain, and filled it with the light of His love.

You are missed sweet one as we travel the road Home. We can't wait to join you There. We love you dearly.

Hugs and kisses from Daddy, Mommy, your brother and sisters. (You will love them:) ).